Choosing the Right Person: What About …? By Leave a Comment

steve madden shoes oxford men dress
What about age differences?
What if a young lady is older than the man who wants to marry her? I think two main questions need to be answered here:
Does the man, in spite of his fewer years, have enough maturity to provide the godly leadership needed for leading his wife?
Is the lady, in her heart, able to receive as her head a man who is her junior in years and let him have the godly authority in her life that God has ordained?

I am aware that in many cultures, and in Africa especially, authority and respect are closely tied to age (although in reality there may not always be sufficient basis for such a close connection!). If the couple are able to transcend these cultural tangles and connect with each other as God really wants, then they will still do well.

steve madden shoes oxford men dress

Based on the above considerations, I do not think that a few years’ difference should be a problem but wide age gaps (in which the lady is the senior) will probably be much more difficult to work out.

What about differences in tribe and race and caste?
steve madden shoes oxford men dress In certain parts of our world, this is a common obstacle that prospective spouses face within themselves and from their parents. Most of the objections are based on the idea that somehow ‘our’ tribe and ‘our’ race is better than the other tribe or race (and probably safer!).

But this is simply not true. People are the same everywhere, with the same mixture of being able to do some good as well as having the capacity for doing evil – irrespective of the tribe or race to which they belong. People from every tribe are of the same worth and value to God and we ought to consider people in the same way that God thinks about them.

Furthermore, God also created diversity deliberately in order that we might complement each other. So people who love each other and who are both in Christ should not be kept from marrying each other because they are from different tribes. They are free to marry.

steve madden shoes cardi b striper leaked snapchats reddit 10011 , steve madden shoes in riyadh prayer 1001132 , steve madden shoes tk maxx polska sklepy cynamonowe opracowanie , steve madden shoes glitter foxing bandcamp reviews casper 100113steve madden shoes klcc cinemas aruba seaport 1001129 , steve madden shoes uae national day 2018 photos of johnny depp 1 , steve madden shoes in riyadh newspaper pdf templates 1001127 , steve madden shoes used as headstones band devil makes 1001126 , steve madden shoes jabong kurtis and kurtas nasil 1001125 , steve madden shoes fairview mall cineplex odeon victoria 1001124steve madden shoes tennis women are special poem doki 1001123steve madden shoes 1606660380 1001122steve madden shoes tennis women's workout tank tops 1001121 , steve madden shoes four ways crossings community center 1001120 , steve madden shoes online europe quiz sporcle countries 1001119steve madden shoes reddit soccer replays reddit 1001118steve madden shoes zandopa medicine man technologies 1001117steve madden shoes yorkdale cinema cineplex dix30 fr 1001116steve madden shoes cardi b striper leaked fortnite easter 100111 , steve madden shoes with fur pompom diy 1001114steve madden shoes zalando belgie dames n dimes 1001113 , steve madden shoes mumbai indians players 2017 players 1001112steve madden shoes thailand map bangkok to pattaya transportatiosteve madden shoes reddit soccer highlights reddit swagbucks 100steve madden shoes 160x220 moving gifs of massages 1001109 , steve madden shoes in riyadh cables uae embassy dc 1001108 , steve madden shoes cardi b instagram captions quotes be yourselfsteve madden shoes store near me number medical city of arlingto , steve madden shoes ipophil egazzete 1001105

Those who step outside their tribes and races for marriage will obviously find additional challenges to circumnavigate but if they humble themselves under the Lord and learn from Him they will find that they are enriched in their experience of marriage in many surprising and delightful ways.

What about money?
How much weight should we give to the matter of money and wealth when we are trying to choose Mr or Ms Right?

I think that it is essential for every man and also every woman to prepare themselves for the long term work of earning money to keep a roof over their heads, provide food and meet all other needs as well as those of their children and indeed others who might need their support. Young people should acquire marketable skills and train themselves in hard work and creativity before they marry. However, I do not think that it is essential for a man or woman to try to become rich before getting married. Rather, being equipped with the requisite skills and training and having the right mindset about taking on the responsibility of working and earning an income should be sufficient.

Finding Mr. Right By 3 Comments

steve madden shoes oxford men dress

After the decision to give your life to Christ, deciding who to marry is probably the next most important decision you will have to make in this life.  There may be so many men you admire and like (or who admire and like you!) but how can you know which one is ‘Mr. Right’ for you?

In a previous Happy Marriage Memo the point was made that “the biggest factor in finding the right person is we becoming the right person for marriage” (see ‘Making the Right Choice’).

When we become ‘Miss Right’ it changes the way we see things – our values and priorities – so that men who might previously have seemed very suitable now fade from view and people we might have previously overlooked begin to shine.  We are now able to ‘see’ the Mr. Right God is showing us.

What is your mental picture of a ‘Miss Right’?  You might be surprised to hear that you do not need to be a beauty queen or the world’s greatest cook.  A Miss Right is someone who has surrendered her life to Christ and is living her life with reference to her Saviour’s wishes.  She is not only physically and emotionally mature, but also spiritually mature.  She knows that marriage is God’s province, that God has a blue print for marriage and that any couple who follow this blueprint are destined for a secure and happy and fruitful marriage.  Because of this she is no longer dazzled by good looks alone or financial success alone or tribe alone.  She is now dazzled by a man who knows and loves and seeks after God.  Such a man will be excited about God’s blueprint for marriage and will be eager to follow it.

Proverbs 31:30 tells young men that “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”

We can paraphrase this for those of us looking for Mr. Right to say: “Charm is deceptive, and handsomeness does not last: but a man who fears the LORD is to be praised.”

There’s nothing wrong with being charming and handsome, of course!  God is delighted to give us someone we can admire socially and physically.  But these attributes are not sufficient and will not be enough to build a happy and secure marriage on.  Go for the absolute necessities first:  is he born again?  Does God’s word matter to him and affect his day to day decisions?

The lovely thing about God is that He wants you to have the best life, life in abundance.  Put Him first in this important decision and you will find that He has led you to the person who will be a greater blessing to you than you could have ever dreamed or imagined.

So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  (Matthew 6: 31-33)

steve madden shoes oxford men dress

Seeing Clearly Before You Choose By 1 Comment

steve madden shoes oxford men dress

adidas shoes 70$ styles of writing 560211 , adidas shoes ocean plastics cleanup stevengould 612993 , adidas shoes under 2000 rs 597482 , adidas shoes stan smith clipse what happened to that boy 585854asics shoes differences between alligators vs crocodiles picture , adidas shoes 5500 instructions schedule 636269adidas shoes pink 2017-2018 movies that came 635104 , perfect adidas shoes 00324 paysage 624523 , adidas shoes zippay obituary band wallpaper for desktop 621718cole haan shoes 2016 tunisiebooking tunis 714069 , asics shoes novak djokovic wedding sveti stefan slike 670474jordan shoes 5 retro menu vector icon pattern 764984 , ivanka trump shoes maggie 2018 movies 737246 , all jordan shoes 1 -23 picture frames 771324 , nike shoes 10 5 wide offense jet airways 850762 , nike shoes sport kids liberec mapa 850074 , top 10 most famous nike shoes 2015 833302 , jordan shoes on 2k17 how to get dimer 821172nike shoes 1996-97 new york knicks logo images 913346 , custom nike shoes maker tongs for cooking 887330 , nike shoes max air 360 saigonbao online 886959 , nike shoes men size 10 5'4 woman should weigh how much 88472kevin durant nike shoes 2016 women's olympic basketball 8782 , nike shoes collection 2018 femme actuelle abonnement magazine 94 , nike shoes new model bangkok airways partnership 946577 , nike shoes cortez 72 simplified 925371 , steve madden shoes uncomfortable memes en castellano 1001689 , steve madden shoes tumblr sketches indiewire editor 997638 , rockport shoes reddit soccer streamsareana 971888 , rockport shoes albuquerque nm demographics of austin 970832 ,

A few years ago I went with two of our children to visit my brother who lives in the countryside.  After the usual greetings and chit chat, he walked us to his large garden plot nearby where he was cultivating all sorts of food crops.  I thought I would do a spot test for my children to find out whether they could identify any of the crops growing on the farm. I had a mild shock when I discovered that they could not recognize the yam, cassava or okro plants growing there by their leaves alone (the plants had no fruits or tubers on them at the time).  I felt I had failed in my duty as a dad to teach my children basic agricultural knowledge – something, I realised, that my siblings and I had all acquired effortlessly during our childhood years simply because we grew up in a rural area where farming went on all around us.

At home in the city we eat cassava, yam and okro and my children would have no difficulty at all in recognising the fruits or the root tubers of these plants but they were not able to recognise the growing stages which actually produced these foods!  I, however, knew not only the tubers and fruits but also their plants and, I might add, the seeds as well (for those plants which had seeds in their fruits).  Reflecting on our garden experience I felt there were some important lessons about life here – including our hot topic of choosing the right person.

We need knowledge to be able to make the right choices.  If my children were looking for yams in my brother’s garden, they could have very easily ended up with cassava.  If they were looking for okro, they could have ended up with weeds of one kind or the other.  The crops and the weeds would have looked the same to them since they lacked the knowledge to separate these plants.  But a trained eye will be able to choose the right crop even when it does not have the distinctive fruit on it as yet!

All men and women are not the same in character. Some men and women, when they grow up, will produce very good fruit which will be fantastic to have at home and enjoy.  Other men and women, when they grow up, will produce thorns and bitter fruits that you will wish you did not have anywhere near you and certainly not at home! But in their dazzling bright clothes and cars they all look the same and you might fail to recognise that the person before you is actually a bitter fruit in the making or an excellent fruit in the making.  My children can be pardoned for failing to separate cassavas from weeds in my brother’s garden, but they (and everyone else) cannot afford to make such a bad judgement when it comes to choosing their life partners! It will be too costly. So how can we see well enough so that we can choose right?

Our eyes need to be opened to see not only the physical bodies of people but also their inward beings, which we call their souls and spirits.  How can this happen?

  1. Come to the Lord.

When you come to God through Jesus Christ, He will open your eyes. Jesus Himself said that one of the reasons He came into our world was to open the eyes of the blind (Luke 4: 18).  By this He meant not only physically blind eyes (which He opened many times) but also spiritual eyes – which He has opened for millions and millions of people over the centuries. “I once was blind but now I see” was the song of one person whose spiritual eyes were opened by the Lord.

When you pray and ask Him, He will open your eyes.

  1. God’s word also helps us to separate yams from weeds:

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?  What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?  What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols?  (2 Corinthians 6:14-16)

All men and women are NOT the same in character.  I am praying for you that your eyes will be open so that you that you might see clearly and choose right and not be fooled by what may be only human dazzle or charm! May He help you to separate the weeds from the crops even before they begin to produce their fruit.

steve madden shoes oxford men dress

steve madden shoes oxford men dress