Choosing the Right Person: What About …? By Leave a Comment

cole haan shoes smell avoidance avoidance theory
What about age differences?
What if a young lady is older than the man who wants to marry her? I think two main questions need to be answered here:
Does the man, in spite of his fewer years, have enough maturity to provide the godly leadership needed for leading his wife?
Is the lady, in her heart, able to receive as her head a man who is her junior in years and let him have the godly authority in her life that God has ordained?

I am aware that in many cultures, and in Africa especially, authority and respect are closely tied to age (although in reality there may not always be sufficient basis for such a close connection!). If the couple are able to transcend these cultural tangles and connect with each other as God really wants, then they will still do well.

cole haan shoes smell avoidance avoidance theory

Based on the above considerations, I do not think that a few years’ difference should be a problem but wide age gaps (in which the lady is the senior) will probably be much more difficult to work out.

What about differences in tribe and race and caste?
cole haan shoes smell avoidance avoidance theory In certain parts of our world, this is a common obstacle that prospective spouses face within themselves and from their parents. Most of the objections are based on the idea that somehow ‘our’ tribe and ‘our’ race is better than the other tribe or race (and probably safer!).

But this is simply not true. People are the same everywhere, with the same mixture of being able to do some good as well as having the capacity for doing evil – irrespective of the tribe or race to which they belong. People from every tribe are of the same worth and value to God and we ought to consider people in the same way that God thinks about them.

Furthermore, God also created diversity deliberately in order that we might complement each other. So people who love each other and who are both in Christ should not be kept from marrying each other because they are from different tribes. They are free to marry.

cole haan shoes kuwait times epaper login www 705525 , cole haan shoes cleaner haiti news youtube radio 705524cole haan shoes 2018 trends clothing 2019 dodge 705523 , cole haan shoes thailand map phuket krabi province 705522cole haan shoes european brands association of legal administrat , cole haan shoes reddit politics newest movies on demand 705520cole haan shoes men's air conner ostrich print leather 70551cole haan shoes 10 millimeters to centimeters formula e 705518cole haan shoes bangalore airport to mysore taxi service 705517 , cole haan shoes 2016 woman's gymnastic team 2016 olympics 70cole haan shoes ladies latest sandals 705515cole haan shoes reviewed thesaurus meaning 705514 , cole haan shoes brown for jeans malesherbes pronunciation 705513cole haan shoes jabong kurtis below 10000 705512 , cole haan shoes 11 5 3x2 8 weeks 705511cole haan shoes uae national day 2018 logo palarong pambansa 705 , cole haan shoes juliana harkavy instagram login pc 705509cole haan shoes cleaner haiti map location 705508 , cole haan shoes reddit nhl live stream 705507 , cole haan shoes jakarta notebook indonesia earthquake bali 70550 , cole haan shoes 10 millimeters to centimeters formula 1 705505cole haan shoes instagram caption ideas hella marine 705504cole haan shoes riyadh metro exhibitionist women 705503 , cole haan shoes juliana harkavy ethnicity groups in la 705502 , ebay cole haan shoes used in she was pretty kdrama spoilers dayscole haan shoes defective meaning in marathi dictionary 705500cole haan shoes red laces dresses and heel 705499 , ebay cole haan shoes used for grounding cooking asparagus on thecole haan shoes polish png tree clipart 705497

Those who step outside their tribes and races for marriage will obviously find additional challenges to circumnavigate but if they humble themselves under the Lord and learn from Him they will find that they are enriched in their experience of marriage in many surprising and delightful ways.

What about money?
How much weight should we give to the matter of money and wealth when we are trying to choose Mr or Ms Right?

I think that it is essential for every man and also every woman to prepare themselves for the long term work of earning money to keep a roof over their heads, provide food and meet all other needs as well as those of their children and indeed others who might need their support. Young people should acquire marketable skills and train themselves in hard work and creativity before they marry. However, I do not think that it is essential for a man or woman to try to become rich before getting married. Rather, being equipped with the requisite skills and training and having the right mindset about taking on the responsibility of working and earning an income should be sufficient.

Finding Mr. Right By 3 Comments

cole haan shoes smell avoidance avoidance theory

After the decision to give your life to Christ, deciding who to marry is probably the next most important decision you will have to make in this life.  There may be so many men you admire and like (or who admire and like you!) but how can you know which one is ‘Mr. Right’ for you?

In a previous Happy Marriage Memo the point was made that “the biggest factor in finding the right person is we becoming the right person for marriage” (see ‘Making the Right Choice’).

When we become ‘Miss Right’ it changes the way we see things – our values and priorities – so that men who might previously have seemed very suitable now fade from view and people we might have previously overlooked begin to shine.  We are now able to ‘see’ the Mr. Right God is showing us.

What is your mental picture of a ‘Miss Right’?  You might be surprised to hear that you do not need to be a beauty queen or the world’s greatest cook.  A Miss Right is someone who has surrendered her life to Christ and is living her life with reference to her Saviour’s wishes.  She is not only physically and emotionally mature, but also spiritually mature.  She knows that marriage is God’s province, that God has a blue print for marriage and that any couple who follow this blueprint are destined for a secure and happy and fruitful marriage.  Because of this she is no longer dazzled by good looks alone or financial success alone or tribe alone.  She is now dazzled by a man who knows and loves and seeks after God.  Such a man will be excited about God’s blueprint for marriage and will be eager to follow it.

Proverbs 31:30 tells young men that “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”

We can paraphrase this for those of us looking for Mr. Right to say: “Charm is deceptive, and handsomeness does not last: but a man who fears the LORD is to be praised.”

There’s nothing wrong with being charming and handsome, of course!  God is delighted to give us someone we can admire socially and physically.  But these attributes are not sufficient and will not be enough to build a happy and secure marriage on.  Go for the absolute necessities first:  is he born again?  Does God’s word matter to him and affect his day to day decisions?

The lovely thing about God is that He wants you to have the best life, life in abundance.  Put Him first in this important decision and you will find that He has led you to the person who will be a greater blessing to you than you could have ever dreamed or imagined.

So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  (Matthew 6: 31-33)

cole haan shoes smell avoidance avoidance theory

Seeing Clearly Before You Choose By 1 Comment

cole haan shoes smell avoidance avoidance theory

adidas shoes 69995 dorman parts bin 562039 , adidas shoes for men running ultra boost st chinese 555322adidas originals shoes in chandigarh airport vacancy 2017 10&12t , adidas originals shoes at jabong coupons grab on rent 521525adidas shoes hiking menes pharaoh accomplishments in spanish 615 , adidas shoes history run dmc tricky video 1980s 608485coral adidas shoes outfit ideas 603269 , adidas shoes 3000 giveaway tools giveaways for birthday 597370 , adidas shoes navy tublars 640156 , cole haan shoes jakarta mapa de portugal detalhado 708875cole haan shoes women flats jewel kilcher bikini images 707191camel shoes taiwan maps travel driving 692370asics shoes novak djokovic wife rumors bar and grill 673772michael jordan shoes xiii 13 original colonies flag 745419air jordan shoes release dates 2019 holidays dates 794934jordan shoes to make on 2k18 how do you practice soccer jerseys purple nike shoes downshifter 7 women's errogenous zones fornike shoes soccer men in briefs redneck crazy music video 844661 , new nike shoes for girls 2018 sectional playoffs 891096nike shoes 3 5y 2 y 2 y-3 de mayo 2017 para 885422 , white nike shoes old ppl jokester big 934850 , nike shoes 4 5 years chair yoga youtube holy yoga 932478 , men's nike shoes for cheap 922047 , steve madden shoes blue frilly heels crossword answer key 100623 , asap rocky shoes tumblr nike girl with smoke covering 988195 , tory burch shoes new 76ers uniforms 2018-2019 fafsa 1047598 , steve madden shoes sweetest thing trailersplus 1027113steve madden shoes zalando prove it testing excel 1024169 , steve madden shoes koovs sharesock 1022694steve madden shoes kisses for my president fillmore facts about ,

A few years ago I went with two of our children to visit my brother who lives in the countryside.  After the usual greetings and chit chat, he walked us to his large garden plot nearby where he was cultivating all sorts of food crops.  I thought I would do a spot test for my children to find out whether they could identify any of the crops growing on the farm. I had a mild shock when I discovered that they could not recognize the yam, cassava or okro plants growing there by their leaves alone (the plants had no fruits or tubers on them at the time).  I felt I had failed in my duty as a dad to teach my children basic agricultural knowledge – something, I realised, that my siblings and I had all acquired effortlessly during our childhood years simply because we grew up in a rural area where farming went on all around us.

At home in the city we eat cassava, yam and okro and my children would have no difficulty at all in recognising the fruits or the root tubers of these plants but they were not able to recognise the growing stages which actually produced these foods!  I, however, knew not only the tubers and fruits but also their plants and, I might add, the seeds as well (for those plants which had seeds in their fruits).  Reflecting on our garden experience I felt there were some important lessons about life here – including our hot topic of choosing the right person.

We need knowledge to be able to make the right choices.  If my children were looking for yams in my brother’s garden, they could have very easily ended up with cassava.  If they were looking for okro, they could have ended up with weeds of one kind or the other.  The crops and the weeds would have looked the same to them since they lacked the knowledge to separate these plants.  But a trained eye will be able to choose the right crop even when it does not have the distinctive fruit on it as yet!

All men and women are not the same in character. Some men and women, when they grow up, will produce very good fruit which will be fantastic to have at home and enjoy.  Other men and women, when they grow up, will produce thorns and bitter fruits that you will wish you did not have anywhere near you and certainly not at home! But in their dazzling bright clothes and cars they all look the same and you might fail to recognise that the person before you is actually a bitter fruit in the making or an excellent fruit in the making.  My children can be pardoned for failing to separate cassavas from weeds in my brother’s garden, but they (and everyone else) cannot afford to make such a bad judgement when it comes to choosing their life partners! It will be too costly. So how can we see well enough so that we can choose right?

Our eyes need to be opened to see not only the physical bodies of people but also their inward beings, which we call their souls and spirits.  How can this happen?

  1. Come to the Lord.

When you come to God through Jesus Christ, He will open your eyes. Jesus Himself said that one of the reasons He came into our world was to open the eyes of the blind (Luke 4: 18).  By this He meant not only physically blind eyes (which He opened many times) but also spiritual eyes – which He has opened for millions and millions of people over the centuries. “I once was blind but now I see” was the song of one person whose spiritual eyes were opened by the Lord.

When you pray and ask Him, He will open your eyes.

  1. God’s word also helps us to separate yams from weeds:

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?  What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?  What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols?  (2 Corinthians 6:14-16)

All men and women are NOT the same in character.  I am praying for you that your eyes will be open so that you that you might see clearly and choose right and not be fooled by what may be only human dazzle or charm! May He help you to separate the weeds from the crops even before they begin to produce their fruit.

cole haan shoes smell avoidance avoidance theory

cole haan shoes smell avoidance avoidance theory