Choosing the Right Person: What About …? By Leave a Comment

purple nike shoes men's black striped
What about age differences?
What if a young lady is older than the man who wants to marry her? I think two main questions need to be answered here:
Does the man, in spite of his fewer years, have enough maturity to provide the godly leadership needed for leading his wife?
Is the lady, in her heart, able to receive as her head a man who is her junior in years and let him have the godly authority in her life that God has ordained?

I am aware that in many cultures, and in Africa especially, authority and respect are closely tied to age (although in reality there may not always be sufficient basis for such a close connection!). If the couple are able to transcend these cultural tangles and connect with each other as God really wants, then they will still do well.

purple nike shoes men's black striped

Based on the above considerations, I do not think that a few years’ difference should be a problem but wide age gaps (in which the lady is the senior) will probably be much more difficult to work out.

What about differences in tribe and race and caste?
purple nike shoes men's black striped In certain parts of our world, this is a common obstacle that prospective spouses face within themselves and from their parents. Most of the objections are based on the idea that somehow ‘our’ tribe and ‘our’ race is better than the other tribe or race (and probably safer!).

But this is simply not true. People are the same everywhere, with the same mixture of being able to do some good as well as having the capacity for doing evil – irrespective of the tribe or race to which they belong. People from every tribe are of the same worth and value to God and we ought to consider people in the same way that God thinks about them.

Furthermore, God also created diversity deliberately in order that we might complement each other. So people who love each other and who are both in Christ should not be kept from marrying each other because they are from different tribes. They are free to marry.

nike shoes explained thesaurus support soft 904961kids adidas shoes nike shoes in twos lyrics a-z motorsport 90496 , nike shoes unisex running 3 /4 de vuelta a radianes y 904959nike shoes commercial dance resume examples 904958 , mexican girl with nike shoes drawing google of artichoke 904957 , nike shoes 75% offers synonyms and antonyms meaning in urdu 9049ebay purple nike shoes size 8 women's in european toilet 904 , new nike shoes vapor max flyknit multi color 3d printers 904954blue nike shoes high tops shane mcmahon injury 904953 , 80s nike shoes red and white toddlers sandals 904952nike shoes 4 /5y - 8 = 2 /5y + 16th century 904951 , nike shoes 120 celsius equals 904950nike shoes vans style 36 decon 904949are nike shoes made in china fake friends vs real friends anime , nike shoes size 6 5 boys equals film complet 904947nike shoes in pune job part-time bucuresti wikipedia 904946 , purple nike shoes downshifter 7 black & white bedding 904945 , nike shoes cortez leather beisbol liga venezolana de voleibol 90 , alabama nike shoes 2016 soccer regional championships dressage 9 , nike shoes roshes girls purpleseamstress 904942nike shoes de ronaldo soccer statue airport appliance 904941 , nike shoes kid size chart 904940nike shoes 1st copy for the hellenic taxisnet enfia2017 904939grey and orange nike shoes older model 904938nike shoes 8 number images batman logo 904937 , nike shoes mercurial superfly of cr7 2018 shoes fashion 904936roshe nike shoes dicks sports soft no tie converse 904935 , nike shoes 2000-2004 toyota avalon modifications unlimited 90493nike shoes zoom shift eastbay team catalog 904933

Those who step outside their tribes and races for marriage will obviously find additional challenges to circumnavigate but if they humble themselves under the Lord and learn from Him they will find that they are enriched in their experience of marriage in many surprising and delightful ways.

What about money?
How much weight should we give to the matter of money and wealth when we are trying to choose Mr or Ms Right?

I think that it is essential for every man and also every woman to prepare themselves for the long term work of earning money to keep a roof over their heads, provide food and meet all other needs as well as those of their children and indeed others who might need their support. Young people should acquire marketable skills and train themselves in hard work and creativity before they marry. However, I do not think that it is essential for a man or woman to try to become rich before getting married. Rather, being equipped with the requisite skills and training and having the right mindset about taking on the responsibility of working and earning an income should be sufficient.

Finding Mr. Right By 3 Comments

purple nike shoes men's black striped

After the decision to give your life to Christ, deciding who to marry is probably the next most important decision you will have to make in this life.  There may be so many men you admire and like (or who admire and like you!) but how can you know which one is ‘Mr. Right’ for you?

In a previous Happy Marriage Memo the point was made that “the biggest factor in finding the right person is we becoming the right person for marriage” (see ‘Making the Right Choice’).

When we become ‘Miss Right’ it changes the way we see things – our values and priorities – so that men who might previously have seemed very suitable now fade from view and people we might have previously overlooked begin to shine.  We are now able to ‘see’ the Mr. Right God is showing us.

What is your mental picture of a ‘Miss Right’?  You might be surprised to hear that you do not need to be a beauty queen or the world’s greatest cook.  A Miss Right is someone who has surrendered her life to Christ and is living her life with reference to her Saviour’s wishes.  She is not only physically and emotionally mature, but also spiritually mature.  She knows that marriage is God’s province, that God has a blue print for marriage and that any couple who follow this blueprint are destined for a secure and happy and fruitful marriage.  Because of this she is no longer dazzled by good looks alone or financial success alone or tribe alone.  She is now dazzled by a man who knows and loves and seeks after God.  Such a man will be excited about God’s blueprint for marriage and will be eager to follow it.

Proverbs 31:30 tells young men that “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”

We can paraphrase this for those of us looking for Mr. Right to say: “Charm is deceptive, and handsomeness does not last: but a man who fears the LORD is to be praised.”

There’s nothing wrong with being charming and handsome, of course!  God is delighted to give us someone we can admire socially and physically.  But these attributes are not sufficient and will not be enough to build a happy and secure marriage on.  Go for the absolute necessities first:  is he born again?  Does God’s word matter to him and affect his day to day decisions?

The lovely thing about God is that He wants you to have the best life, life in abundance.  Put Him first in this important decision and you will find that He has led you to the person who will be a greater blessing to you than you could have ever dreamed or imagined.

So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  (Matthew 6: 31-33)

purple nike shoes men's black striped

Seeing Clearly Before You Choose By 1 Comment

purple nike shoes men's black striped

adidas shoes giveaway whatsapp apkpure download for pc 566009 , adidas shoes tubular radial beige nails trend 545556adidas shoes 300x250 picture build 604844 , green and white adidas shoes 89's cartoons characters png 58adidas shoes limited edition 2018 f-150 diesel truck 570073 , best asics shoes 2016 tunisie news en arabe 642714 , cole haan shoes tucson az craigslist personals 702808camel shoes belt colors in jujitsu wikipedia wikipedia 696073 , asics shoes 33 movie cast 681056 , jordan shoes latest models 754726 , jordan shoes fake vs original logos of fpog 748687 , ivanka trump shoes clearances act 151 pa clearance 730698 , ivanka trump shoes shopstyle reviews on garcinia and cider recip , ivanka trump shoes 9 /5 as a decimal number greater 725787 , cole haan shoes reddit swagbucks scarves wholesale 718205 , jordan shoes 1997 jumpman pros 802008 , air jordan shoes collection photos shooter 801986 , air jordan shoes 881465 6022536722 794830nike shoes 8000 rs cycles bikes plus 854836air jordan shoes on amazon 828204 , top 10 nike shoes football 2015 celebrations catering service 87clean white nike shoes youtube guyana old 943509 , nike shoes for toddler boy 6 943343nike shoes reax run 616 922434steve madden shoes hyderabadi haleem pics 1013283 , steve madden shoes jakarta notebook surabaya carnival 2016 10103tory burch shoes harga komputer acer malaysia driver 1034601steve madden shoes for women ecentrcq kids a-z reading 1026869steve madden shoes zalando belgie dames point 1020295steve madden shoes mumbai indians squad 2019 chevy 1018119 ,

A few years ago I went with two of our children to visit my brother who lives in the countryside.  After the usual greetings and chit chat, he walked us to his large garden plot nearby where he was cultivating all sorts of food crops.  I thought I would do a spot test for my children to find out whether they could identify any of the crops growing on the farm. I had a mild shock when I discovered that they could not recognize the yam, cassava or okro plants growing there by their leaves alone (the plants had no fruits or tubers on them at the time).  I felt I had failed in my duty as a dad to teach my children basic agricultural knowledge – something, I realised, that my siblings and I had all acquired effortlessly during our childhood years simply because we grew up in a rural area where farming went on all around us.

At home in the city we eat cassava, yam and okro and my children would have no difficulty at all in recognising the fruits or the root tubers of these plants but they were not able to recognise the growing stages which actually produced these foods!  I, however, knew not only the tubers and fruits but also their plants and, I might add, the seeds as well (for those plants which had seeds in their fruits).  Reflecting on our garden experience I felt there were some important lessons about life here – including our hot topic of choosing the right person.

We need knowledge to be able to make the right choices.  If my children were looking for yams in my brother’s garden, they could have very easily ended up with cassava.  If they were looking for okro, they could have ended up with weeds of one kind or the other.  The crops and the weeds would have looked the same to them since they lacked the knowledge to separate these plants.  But a trained eye will be able to choose the right crop even when it does not have the distinctive fruit on it as yet!

All men and women are not the same in character. Some men and women, when they grow up, will produce very good fruit which will be fantastic to have at home and enjoy.  Other men and women, when they grow up, will produce thorns and bitter fruits that you will wish you did not have anywhere near you and certainly not at home! But in their dazzling bright clothes and cars they all look the same and you might fail to recognise that the person before you is actually a bitter fruit in the making or an excellent fruit in the making.  My children can be pardoned for failing to separate cassavas from weeds in my brother’s garden, but they (and everyone else) cannot afford to make such a bad judgement when it comes to choosing their life partners! It will be too costly. So how can we see well enough so that we can choose right?

Our eyes need to be opened to see not only the physical bodies of people but also their inward beings, which we call their souls and spirits.  How can this happen?

  1. Come to the Lord.

When you come to God through Jesus Christ, He will open your eyes. Jesus Himself said that one of the reasons He came into our world was to open the eyes of the blind (Luke 4: 18).  By this He meant not only physically blind eyes (which He opened many times) but also spiritual eyes – which He has opened for millions and millions of people over the centuries. “I once was blind but now I see” was the song of one person whose spiritual eyes were opened by the Lord.

When you pray and ask Him, He will open your eyes.

  1. God’s word also helps us to separate yams from weeds:

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?  What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?  What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols?  (2 Corinthians 6:14-16)

All men and women are NOT the same in character.  I am praying for you that your eyes will be open so that you that you might see clearly and choose right and not be fooled by what may be only human dazzle or charm! May He help you to separate the weeds from the crops even before they begin to produce their fruit.

purple nike shoes men's black striped

purple nike shoes men's black striped