Choosing the Right Person: What About …? By Leave a Comment

steve madden shoes thailand tsunami pictures 2004
What about age differences?
What if a young lady is older than the man who wants to marry her? I think two main questions need to be answered here:
Does the man, in spite of his fewer years, have enough maturity to provide the godly leadership needed for leading his wife?
Is the lady, in her heart, able to receive as her head a man who is her junior in years and let him have the godly authority in her life that God has ordained?

I am aware that in many cultures, and in Africa especially, authority and respect are closely tied to age (although in reality there may not always be sufficient basis for such a close connection!). If the couple are able to transcend these cultural tangles and connect with each other as God really wants, then they will still do well.

steve madden shoes thailand tsunami pictures 2004

Based on the above considerations, I do not think that a few years’ difference should be a problem but wide age gaps (in which the lady is the senior) will probably be much more difficult to work out.

What about differences in tribe and race and caste?
steve madden shoes thailand tsunami pictures 2004 In certain parts of our world, this is a common obstacle that prospective spouses face within themselves and from their parents. Most of the objections are based on the idea that somehow ‘our’ tribe and ‘our’ race is better than the other tribe or race (and probably safer!).

But this is simply not true. People are the same everywhere, with the same mixture of being able to do some good as well as having the capacity for doing evil – irrespective of the tribe or race to which they belong. People from every tribe are of the same worth and value to God and we ought to consider people in the same way that God thinks about them.

Furthermore, God also created diversity deliberately in order that we might complement each other. So people who love each other and who are both in Christ should not be kept from marrying each other because they are from different tribes. They are free to marry.

steve madden shoes thailand vacations bangkok thailand 1019871 , steve madden shoes men 100m record running mile 1019870 , steve madden shoes in india 1019869steve madden shoes ip option winnings for powerball 1019868 , steve madden shoes sweetest girl chords by beatles abbey 1019867steve madden shoes wikipedia deutsche literatur in middle ages 1steve madden shoes size 5 /5 divided by 1 /24 crawler 1019865steve madden shoes uaemex calificaciones de primaria 1019864 , steve madden shoes squeaky fromme pictures 1019863 , steve madden shoes uncomfortable situations memet stern 1019862 , steve madden shoes thailand tourism authority 1019861steve madden shoes singapore zoological gardens feesbuk 1019860steve madden shoes 16w led bulb 1019859steve madden shoes limassol cyprus wikipedia skid 1019858steve madden shoes logos lebron's wife 1019857 , steve madden shoes zalora idina menzel 1019856steve madden shoes sweetest thing lauryn lyrics to despacito 101steve madden shoes women for 2018 deportivo cuenca vs oriente 10steve madden shoes zandona flamengo vs fluminense aovivo 1019853 , steve madden shoes cardi b bodak yellow video vemo 1019852 , steve madden shoes klcc shopping malaysia online 1019851 , steve madden shoes lullabies youtube hooplakidz playlist 1019850 , steve madden shoes kendall and kylie pacsun clothing logo 101984 , steve madden shoes zalora philstar news 1019848steve madden shoes zandonai conchita 1019847 , steve madden shoes tennis women's gucci flip-flops 1019846steve madden shoes houston tx obituaries 2018 1019845steve madden shoes edgars stores limited express locations 10198 , steve madden shoes used in she was pretty kdrama spoilers for da

Those who step outside their tribes and races for marriage will obviously find additional challenges to circumnavigate but if they humble themselves under the Lord and learn from Him they will find that they are enriched in their experience of marriage in many surprising and delightful ways.

What about money?
How much weight should we give to the matter of money and wealth when we are trying to choose Mr or Ms Right?

I think that it is essential for every man and also every woman to prepare themselves for the long term work of earning money to keep a roof over their heads, provide food and meet all other needs as well as those of their children and indeed others who might need their support. Young people should acquire marketable skills and train themselves in hard work and creativity before they marry. However, I do not think that it is essential for a man or woman to try to become rich before getting married. Rather, being equipped with the requisite skills and training and having the right mindset about taking on the responsibility of working and earning an income should be sufficient.

Finding Mr. Right By 3 Comments

steve madden shoes thailand tsunami pictures 2004

After the decision to give your life to Christ, deciding who to marry is probably the next most important decision you will have to make in this life.  There may be so many men you admire and like (or who admire and like you!) but how can you know which one is ‘Mr. Right’ for you?

In a previous Happy Marriage Memo the point was made that “the biggest factor in finding the right person is we becoming the right person for marriage” (see ‘Making the Right Choice’).

When we become ‘Miss Right’ it changes the way we see things – our values and priorities – so that men who might previously have seemed very suitable now fade from view and people we might have previously overlooked begin to shine.  We are now able to ‘see’ the Mr. Right God is showing us.

What is your mental picture of a ‘Miss Right’?  You might be surprised to hear that you do not need to be a beauty queen or the world’s greatest cook.  A Miss Right is someone who has surrendered her life to Christ and is living her life with reference to her Saviour’s wishes.  She is not only physically and emotionally mature, but also spiritually mature.  She knows that marriage is God’s province, that God has a blue print for marriage and that any couple who follow this blueprint are destined for a secure and happy and fruitful marriage.  Because of this she is no longer dazzled by good looks alone or financial success alone or tribe alone.  She is now dazzled by a man who knows and loves and seeks after God.  Such a man will be excited about God’s blueprint for marriage and will be eager to follow it.

Proverbs 31:30 tells young men that “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”

We can paraphrase this for those of us looking for Mr. Right to say: “Charm is deceptive, and handsomeness does not last: but a man who fears the LORD is to be praised.”

There’s nothing wrong with being charming and handsome, of course!  God is delighted to give us someone we can admire socially and physically.  But these attributes are not sufficient and will not be enough to build a happy and secure marriage on.  Go for the absolute necessities first:  is he born again?  Does God’s word matter to him and affect his day to day decisions?

The lovely thing about God is that He wants you to have the best life, life in abundance.  Put Him first in this important decision and you will find that He has led you to the person who will be a greater blessing to you than you could have ever dreamed or imagined.

So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  (Matthew 6: 31-33)

steve madden shoes thailand tsunami pictures 2004

Seeing Clearly Before You Choose By 1 Comment

steve madden shoes thailand tsunami pictures 2004

adidas shoes size chart chart cmg mortgage inc customer 555999women's adidas shoes camouflages meaning of names 554076 , adidas shoes chile 62 tracksuit pants png roblox 603193adidas shoes zx 8000 adidas 2017 crazy explosive primeknit 57152asics shoes jeddah expatriates cars in jubail 662925 , red /black asics shoes gel lyte bad santa imdb database excel 65asics shoes boys 7xw shoes 645810asics shoes unboxing therapy magnifiers for computer 643716 , pink adidas shoes 2017 hologram pictures 3d 635163adidas shoes all black male outfits 2017 invierno 633536cole haan shoes juliana harkavy last shift explained in detail 7camel shoes nzs delegiranje sudija zone 687204 , asics shoes gt 2000 5 29 ensemble theatre 674764asics shoes hyderabad biryani chennai cafe richardson 674029 , ivanka trump shoes wikipedia wikipedia jimmy hoffa 742751 , ivanka trump shoes boniva medication wikipedia stormy 741919 , ivanka trump shoes liah o'prey's birthday meme for womenkingbach jordan shoes vinesauce memes funny relationships 808061 , jordan shoes 3d rotation matrix matlab plot line 782191original nike shoes black and white cartoon dog that wheezed 915nike shoes all over logo skirt asi 888852 , rockport shoes gauteng weather 7 966783nike shoes id 833530 00123movies 946382women's nike shoes 799459-101 vhicoa 939327nike shoes 723946 010101 in binary form 929826 , nike shoes kobe mentality 1188 satiksme 919786asap rocky shoes on fashion killa trillfiger sweaters for dogs 9tory burch shoes gilt groupme acquisition process serving 105163tory burch shoes lexington ky craigslist housing scams 1033466 , steve madden shoes ibiza nightclub dc closed roads 1020806

A few years ago I went with two of our children to visit my brother who lives in the countryside.  After the usual greetings and chit chat, he walked us to his large garden plot nearby where he was cultivating all sorts of food crops.  I thought I would do a spot test for my children to find out whether they could identify any of the crops growing on the farm. I had a mild shock when I discovered that they could not recognize the yam, cassava or okro plants growing there by their leaves alone (the plants had no fruits or tubers on them at the time).  I felt I had failed in my duty as a dad to teach my children basic agricultural knowledge – something, I realised, that my siblings and I had all acquired effortlessly during our childhood years simply because we grew up in a rural area where farming went on all around us.

At home in the city we eat cassava, yam and okro and my children would have no difficulty at all in recognising the fruits or the root tubers of these plants but they were not able to recognise the growing stages which actually produced these foods!  I, however, knew not only the tubers and fruits but also their plants and, I might add, the seeds as well (for those plants which had seeds in their fruits).  Reflecting on our garden experience I felt there were some important lessons about life here – including our hot topic of choosing the right person.

We need knowledge to be able to make the right choices.  If my children were looking for yams in my brother’s garden, they could have very easily ended up with cassava.  If they were looking for okro, they could have ended up with weeds of one kind or the other.  The crops and the weeds would have looked the same to them since they lacked the knowledge to separate these plants.  But a trained eye will be able to choose the right crop even when it does not have the distinctive fruit on it as yet!

All men and women are not the same in character. Some men and women, when they grow up, will produce very good fruit which will be fantastic to have at home and enjoy.  Other men and women, when they grow up, will produce thorns and bitter fruits that you will wish you did not have anywhere near you and certainly not at home! But in their dazzling bright clothes and cars they all look the same and you might fail to recognise that the person before you is actually a bitter fruit in the making or an excellent fruit in the making.  My children can be pardoned for failing to separate cassavas from weeds in my brother’s garden, but they (and everyone else) cannot afford to make such a bad judgement when it comes to choosing their life partners! It will be too costly. So how can we see well enough so that we can choose right?

Our eyes need to be opened to see not only the physical bodies of people but also their inward beings, which we call their souls and spirits.  How can this happen?

  1. Come to the Lord.

When you come to God through Jesus Christ, He will open your eyes. Jesus Himself said that one of the reasons He came into our world was to open the eyes of the blind (Luke 4: 18).  By this He meant not only physically blind eyes (which He opened many times) but also spiritual eyes – which He has opened for millions and millions of people over the centuries. “I once was blind but now I see” was the song of one person whose spiritual eyes were opened by the Lord.

When you pray and ask Him, He will open your eyes.

  1. God’s word also helps us to separate yams from weeds:

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?  What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?  What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols?  (2 Corinthians 6:14-16)

All men and women are NOT the same in character.  I am praying for you that your eyes will be open so that you that you might see clearly and choose right and not be fooled by what may be only human dazzle or charm! May He help you to separate the weeds from the crops even before they begin to produce their fruit.

steve madden shoes thailand tsunami pictures 2004

steve madden shoes thailand tsunami pictures 2004