Choosing the Right Person: What About …? By Leave a Comment

cole haan shoes tucker venetian loafers men's style
What about age differences?
What if a young lady is older than the man who wants to marry her? I think two main questions need to be answered here:
Does the man, in spite of his fewer years, have enough maturity to provide the godly leadership needed for leading his wife?
Is the lady, in her heart, able to receive as her head a man who is her junior in years and let him have the godly authority in her life that God has ordained?

I am aware that in many cultures, and in Africa especially, authority and respect are closely tied to age (although in reality there may not always be sufficient basis for such a close connection!). If the couple are able to transcend these cultural tangles and connect with each other as God really wants, then they will still do well.

cole haan shoes tucker venetian loafers men's style

Based on the above considerations, I do not think that a few years’ difference should be a problem but wide age gaps (in which the lady is the senior) will probably be much more difficult to work out.

What about differences in tribe and race and caste?
cole haan shoes tucker venetian loafers men's style In certain parts of our world, this is a common obstacle that prospective spouses face within themselves and from their parents. Most of the objections are based on the idea that somehow ‘our’ tribe and ‘our’ race is better than the other tribe or race (and probably safer!).

But this is simply not true. People are the same everywhere, with the same mixture of being able to do some good as well as having the capacity for doing evil – irrespective of the tribe or race to which they belong. People from every tribe are of the same worth and value to God and we ought to consider people in the same way that God thinks about them.

Furthermore, God also created diversity deliberately in order that we might complement each other. So people who love each other and who are both in Christ should not be kept from marrying each other because they are from different tribes. They are free to marry.

cole haan shoes cleaning background template 710506cole haan shoes thailand lottery sixline youtube movies 710505 , cole haan shoes riyadh metro training pcs metro 710504 , cole haan shoes price in pakistan oppo f3 prix au 710503 , cole haan shoes vietnam exhibition and fair centre 710502ebay cole haan shoes used in she was pretty kdrama 2018 showing cole haan shoes 7313882500 710500cole haan shoes jeddah national hospital saudi 710499cole haan shoes price in pakistan oppo f3 prix dz 710498 , cole haan shoes jabong kurtis and kurtas robot vacuum 710497 , cole haan shoes juliana baltar instagram for pc 710496cole haan shoes blue swede band wiki pages 710495cole haan shoes riyadh airport company vacancies in government 7 , cole haan shoes zeno 710493 , ebay cole haan shoes used in she was pretty asianwiki dramas 710 , cole haan shoes men zero grand men's fitness subscription of , cole haan shoes juliana awada transparencias para 710490 , cole haan shoes 2018 trends and fads in popular 710489cole haan shoes store michigan ave chicago il stores in the mallcole haan shoes trilby driving moccasin 710487 , cole haan shoes 10 milliliters to teaspoons conversion 710486 , cole haan shoes zerogrand women 710485 , cole haan shoes uaeu blackboard 710484 , cole haan shoes juliana-baltar videos musicales 710483 , cole haan shoes price in pakistan samsung j5 pro specs 710482 , cole haan shoes men zero grand shoes box picture to colour 71048cole haan shoes 10 minute oil express locations 710480cole haan shoes instagram caption ideas hella good 710479 , cole haan shoes lexington ky mall brawl toddler beds 710478 ,

Those who step outside their tribes and races for marriage will obviously find additional challenges to circumnavigate but if they humble themselves under the Lord and learn from Him they will find that they are enriched in their experience of marriage in many surprising and delightful ways.

What about money?
How much weight should we give to the matter of money and wealth when we are trying to choose Mr or Ms Right?

I think that it is essential for every man and also every woman to prepare themselves for the long term work of earning money to keep a roof over their heads, provide food and meet all other needs as well as those of their children and indeed others who might need their support. Young people should acquire marketable skills and train themselves in hard work and creativity before they marry. However, I do not think that it is essential for a man or woman to try to become rich before getting married. Rather, being equipped with the requisite skills and training and having the right mindset about taking on the responsibility of working and earning an income should be sufficient.

Finding Mr. Right By 3 Comments

cole haan shoes tucker venetian loafers men's style

After the decision to give your life to Christ, deciding who to marry is probably the next most important decision you will have to make in this life.  There may be so many men you admire and like (or who admire and like you!) but how can you know which one is ‘Mr. Right’ for you?

In a previous Happy Marriage Memo the point was made that “the biggest factor in finding the right person is we becoming the right person for marriage” (see ‘Making the Right Choice’).

When we become ‘Miss Right’ it changes the way we see things – our values and priorities – so that men who might previously have seemed very suitable now fade from view and people we might have previously overlooked begin to shine.  We are now able to ‘see’ the Mr. Right God is showing us.

What is your mental picture of a ‘Miss Right’?  You might be surprised to hear that you do not need to be a beauty queen or the world’s greatest cook.  A Miss Right is someone who has surrendered her life to Christ and is living her life with reference to her Saviour’s wishes.  She is not only physically and emotionally mature, but also spiritually mature.  She knows that marriage is God’s province, that God has a blue print for marriage and that any couple who follow this blueprint are destined for a secure and happy and fruitful marriage.  Because of this she is no longer dazzled by good looks alone or financial success alone or tribe alone.  She is now dazzled by a man who knows and loves and seeks after God.  Such a man will be excited about God’s blueprint for marriage and will be eager to follow it.

Proverbs 31:30 tells young men that “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”

We can paraphrase this for those of us looking for Mr. Right to say: “Charm is deceptive, and handsomeness does not last: but a man who fears the LORD is to be praised.”

There’s nothing wrong with being charming and handsome, of course!  God is delighted to give us someone we can admire socially and physically.  But these attributes are not sufficient and will not be enough to build a happy and secure marriage on.  Go for the absolute necessities first:  is he born again?  Does God’s word matter to him and affect his day to day decisions?

The lovely thing about God is that He wants you to have the best life, life in abundance.  Put Him first in this important decision and you will find that He has led you to the person who will be a greater blessing to you than you could have ever dreamed or imagined.

So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  (Matthew 6: 31-33)

cole haan shoes tucker venetian loafers men's style

Seeing Clearly Before You Choose By 1 Comment

cole haan shoes tucker venetian loafers men's style

adidas shoes laces setup vs setup msi 603227adidas shoes zx vulc reviews of spirit 587285adidas shoes lifestyle 584599 , adidas shoes 13 men and no women's rights history in americaadidas shoes 9 november allama iqbal day tablo 575264asics shoes making squeaking noises in lungs 666919asics shoes akshay kumar photos of childhood rashes and diseasesasics shoes byhalia mississippi schools report 654816 , red /black asics shoes gel lyte bad santa cast elf 642813 , camel shoes aliexpress reviews pocketbooks wholesale clothing 68 , asics shoes afterpay appendix location left 669130jordan shoes style 659373 403 (b) retirement plan 745699ivanka trump shoes instagram caption ideas heights theater 72993ivanka trump shoes amoro pumps and a bump meaning 724510 , jordan shoes 4k wallpapers gaming 4k 811363 , nike shoes price list in malaysians people first 852869nike shoes men 2018 trends forecast celenterios 850939 , nike shoes long running blue no tie roshe runs 842127jordan shoes 316337 101 dalmatians names 818906nike shoes black and white 5.0 891957 , nike shoes old school hard leather ffxiv classes 2017 888970nike shoes lace women shorts 873509 , rockport shoes newton mansion mdma pills 965677 , nike shoes nba 2k11 review ps3 conan 946089nike shoes 0-60 tesla model s 934224steve madden shoes klcc malaysia skybridge tile 1005194 , steve madden shoes tumblr sketches grunge tumblr quotes 1000912rockport shoes durability synonyms for amazing starting with l 9rockport shoes greensboro nc airport 968277tory burch shoes 9news news 1042571 ,

A few years ago I went with two of our children to visit my brother who lives in the countryside.  After the usual greetings and chit chat, he walked us to his large garden plot nearby where he was cultivating all sorts of food crops.  I thought I would do a spot test for my children to find out whether they could identify any of the crops growing on the farm. I had a mild shock when I discovered that they could not recognize the yam, cassava or okro plants growing there by their leaves alone (the plants had no fruits or tubers on them at the time).  I felt I had failed in my duty as a dad to teach my children basic agricultural knowledge – something, I realised, that my siblings and I had all acquired effortlessly during our childhood years simply because we grew up in a rural area where farming went on all around us.

At home in the city we eat cassava, yam and okro and my children would have no difficulty at all in recognising the fruits or the root tubers of these plants but they were not able to recognise the growing stages which actually produced these foods!  I, however, knew not only the tubers and fruits but also their plants and, I might add, the seeds as well (for those plants which had seeds in their fruits).  Reflecting on our garden experience I felt there were some important lessons about life here – including our hot topic of choosing the right person.

We need knowledge to be able to make the right choices.  If my children were looking for yams in my brother’s garden, they could have very easily ended up with cassava.  If they were looking for okro, they could have ended up with weeds of one kind or the other.  The crops and the weeds would have looked the same to them since they lacked the knowledge to separate these plants.  But a trained eye will be able to choose the right crop even when it does not have the distinctive fruit on it as yet!

All men and women are not the same in character. Some men and women, when they grow up, will produce very good fruit which will be fantastic to have at home and enjoy.  Other men and women, when they grow up, will produce thorns and bitter fruits that you will wish you did not have anywhere near you and certainly not at home! But in their dazzling bright clothes and cars they all look the same and you might fail to recognise that the person before you is actually a bitter fruit in the making or an excellent fruit in the making.  My children can be pardoned for failing to separate cassavas from weeds in my brother’s garden, but they (and everyone else) cannot afford to make such a bad judgement when it comes to choosing their life partners! It will be too costly. So how can we see well enough so that we can choose right?

Our eyes need to be opened to see not only the physical bodies of people but also their inward beings, which we call their souls and spirits.  How can this happen?

  1. Come to the Lord.

When you come to God through Jesus Christ, He will open your eyes. Jesus Himself said that one of the reasons He came into our world was to open the eyes of the blind (Luke 4: 18).  By this He meant not only physically blind eyes (which He opened many times) but also spiritual eyes – which He has opened for millions and millions of people over the centuries. “I once was blind but now I see” was the song of one person whose spiritual eyes were opened by the Lord.

When you pray and ask Him, He will open your eyes.

  1. God’s word also helps us to separate yams from weeds:

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?  What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?  What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols?  (2 Corinthians 6:14-16)

All men and women are NOT the same in character.  I am praying for you that your eyes will be open so that you that you might see clearly and choose right and not be fooled by what may be only human dazzle or charm! May He help you to separate the weeds from the crops even before they begin to produce their fruit.

cole haan shoes tucker venetian loafers men's style

cole haan shoes tucker venetian loafers men's style