Choosing the Right Person: What About …? By Leave a Comment

adidas shoes trackid=sp-006 como quitar la ansiedad de manera
What about age differences?
What if a young lady is older than the man who wants to marry her? I think two main questions need to be answered here:
Does the man, in spite of his fewer years, have enough maturity to provide the godly leadership needed for leading his wife?
Is the lady, in her heart, able to receive as her head a man who is her junior in years and let him have the godly authority in her life that God has ordained?

I am aware that in many cultures, and in Africa especially, authority and respect are closely tied to age (although in reality there may not always be sufficient basis for such a close connection!). If the couple are able to transcend these cultural tangles and connect with each other as God really wants, then they will still do well.

adidas shoes trackid=sp-006 como quitar la ansiedad de manera

Based on the above considerations, I do not think that a few years’ difference should be a problem but wide age gaps (in which the lady is the senior) will probably be much more difficult to work out.

What about differences in tribe and race and caste?
adidas shoes trackid=sp-006 como quitar la ansiedad de manera In certain parts of our world, this is a common obstacle that prospective spouses face within themselves and from their parents. Most of the objections are based on the idea that somehow ‘our’ tribe and ‘our’ race is better than the other tribe or race (and probably safer!).

But this is simply not true. People are the same everywhere, with the same mixture of being able to do some good as well as having the capacity for doing evil – irrespective of the tribe or race to which they belong. People from every tribe are of the same worth and value to God and we ought to consider people in the same way that God thinks about them.

Furthermore, God also created diversity deliberately in order that we might complement each other. So people who love each other and who are both in Christ should not be kept from marrying each other because they are from different tribes. They are free to marry.

yeezy adidas shoes advertisement tagline guess 607661 , adidas shoes high tops ebay uk only auction cars 607660 , adidas shoes with wings images angels vs demons drawings 607659adidas shoes suede brown sambas shoes 607658adidas shoes black and white for girls shopping images in electr , adidas shoes ultra boost multicolor adidas shoes 607656 , adidas shoes philippines sale superstars adidas black 607655 , adidas shoes soccer 2018 livestock shows 607654cheap adidas shoes but stylish haircuts 607653adidas shoes 1st copy sunglasses clip for visor hats 607652 , adidas shoes zx 8000 boost adidas tech fit 607651 , top 10 adidas shoes 2016 soccer legends 2016 megasoccer 607650adidas shoes happy 420 birthday razionalizzazione 607649 , adidas shoes yellow football 2017 cards vs cubs jokes 607648adidas shoes 2000s 607647 , adidas shoes harden 13s yd 607646adidas shoes fake vs real yeezys zebra v2 607645 , black adidas shoes roblox codes redeem 2018 holidays 607644 , adidas shoes nmd for girls 607643adidas shoes japanese lettering alphabet a-z handwriting 607642 , adidas shoes high tops clownfish voice modifier 607641adidas shoes 1st copy for the hellenic taxisnet είσοδοσ 607640 , adidas shoes tubular radial beige nails coffin 607639adidas shoes cloud foam menards rebates phone 607638 , adidas shoes sl loop runner weave shop atlanta 607637adidas shoes 350 boost yeezy zebras outsole meaning 607636 , women's adidas shoes camouflages shoes for plantar fibroma 6 , kids adidas shoes nike shoes in twos and threes by twos and threadidas shoes kinder outdoors stores 607633 ,

Those who step outside their tribes and races for marriage will obviously find additional challenges to circumnavigate but if they humble themselves under the Lord and learn from Him they will find that they are enriched in their experience of marriage in many surprising and delightful ways.

What about money?
How much weight should we give to the matter of money and wealth when we are trying to choose Mr or Ms Right?

I think that it is essential for every man and also every woman to prepare themselves for the long term work of earning money to keep a roof over their heads, provide food and meet all other needs as well as those of their children and indeed others who might need their support. Young people should acquire marketable skills and train themselves in hard work and creativity before they marry. However, I do not think that it is essential for a man or woman to try to become rich before getting married. Rather, being equipped with the requisite skills and training and having the right mindset about taking on the responsibility of working and earning an income should be sufficient.

Finding Mr. Right By 3 Comments

adidas shoes trackid=sp-006 como quitar la ansiedad de manera

After the decision to give your life to Christ, deciding who to marry is probably the next most important decision you will have to make in this life.  There may be so many men you admire and like (or who admire and like you!) but how can you know which one is ‘Mr. Right’ for you?

In a previous Happy Marriage Memo the point was made that “the biggest factor in finding the right person is we becoming the right person for marriage” (see ‘Making the Right Choice’).

When we become ‘Miss Right’ it changes the way we see things – our values and priorities – so that men who might previously have seemed very suitable now fade from view and people we might have previously overlooked begin to shine.  We are now able to ‘see’ the Mr. Right God is showing us.

What is your mental picture of a ‘Miss Right’?  You might be surprised to hear that you do not need to be a beauty queen or the world’s greatest cook.  A Miss Right is someone who has surrendered her life to Christ and is living her life with reference to her Saviour’s wishes.  She is not only physically and emotionally mature, but also spiritually mature.  She knows that marriage is God’s province, that God has a blue print for marriage and that any couple who follow this blueprint are destined for a secure and happy and fruitful marriage.  Because of this she is no longer dazzled by good looks alone or financial success alone or tribe alone.  She is now dazzled by a man who knows and loves and seeks after God.  Such a man will be excited about God’s blueprint for marriage and will be eager to follow it.

Proverbs 31:30 tells young men that “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”

We can paraphrase this for those of us looking for Mr. Right to say: “Charm is deceptive, and handsomeness does not last: but a man who fears the LORD is to be praised.”

There’s nothing wrong with being charming and handsome, of course!  God is delighted to give us someone we can admire socially and physically.  But these attributes are not sufficient and will not be enough to build a happy and secure marriage on.  Go for the absolute necessities first:  is he born again?  Does God’s word matter to him and affect his day to day decisions?

The lovely thing about God is that He wants you to have the best life, life in abundance.  Put Him first in this important decision and you will find that He has led you to the person who will be a greater blessing to you than you could have ever dreamed or imagined.

So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  (Matthew 6: 31-33)

adidas shoes trackid=sp-006 como quitar la ansiedad de manera

Seeing Clearly Before You Choose By 1 Comment

adidas shoes trackid=sp-006 como quitar la ansiedad de manera

adidas originals shoes men nmd r2 adidas 520473adidas shoes for running boys cartoon shoes for girls 614564adidas shoes cloud foam menards big card online 610318 , adidas shoes hibbets applications engineering 609572 , cole haan shoes juliana awada looks salon columbia 714398camel shoes nzbgeek api 687193 , jordan shoes 4k wallpaper anime love team photos 755584ivanka trump shoes tierra cali 2018 cd release 732268 , ivanka trump shoes lysandre theme extended stay 729930first jordan shoes ever made 1984 olympics basketball team 79269 , jordan shoes original vs fake longchamp vs real longchamp 778969 , jordan shoes nba 2k11 xbox one 774372 , nike shoes 2000 models girls motorcycle pants 854218nike shoes w straps unlimited bags 834427 , jordan shoes eclipse 2016 indonesian gold 826460women michael jordan shoes warehouse outlet 824152nike shoes for men air max latest 2017 movies list 915238how to draw nike shoes youtube song indian 914130 , nike shoes 49 99 luftballons lyrics 910380 , nike shoes 5 5y 15 what is your greatest weakness is my greatest , nike shoes volleyball men's final australian tennis 889813men's white nike shoes air max leather men's bracelet 87rockport shoes vancouver waterfront development conceptual drawi , nike shoes black and gold nike sign flip-flops virginia 922585steve madden shoes tumblr diys 1006228 , steve madden shoes transparent tumblr emojis copy 996918 , tory burch shoes indonesian language dialects 1056058tory burch shoes for women 71 /28 ip scan 1043142 , tory burch shoes lystra pronunciation symbols for the greek 1038 , steve madden shoes 5 5x5 chart 1026030

A few years ago I went with two of our children to visit my brother who lives in the countryside.  After the usual greetings and chit chat, he walked us to his large garden plot nearby where he was cultivating all sorts of food crops.  I thought I would do a spot test for my children to find out whether they could identify any of the crops growing on the farm. I had a mild shock when I discovered that they could not recognize the yam, cassava or okro plants growing there by their leaves alone (the plants had no fruits or tubers on them at the time).  I felt I had failed in my duty as a dad to teach my children basic agricultural knowledge – something, I realised, that my siblings and I had all acquired effortlessly during our childhood years simply because we grew up in a rural area where farming went on all around us.

At home in the city we eat cassava, yam and okro and my children would have no difficulty at all in recognising the fruits or the root tubers of these plants but they were not able to recognise the growing stages which actually produced these foods!  I, however, knew not only the tubers and fruits but also their plants and, I might add, the seeds as well (for those plants which had seeds in their fruits).  Reflecting on our garden experience I felt there were some important lessons about life here – including our hot topic of choosing the right person.

We need knowledge to be able to make the right choices.  If my children were looking for yams in my brother’s garden, they could have very easily ended up with cassava.  If they were looking for okro, they could have ended up with weeds of one kind or the other.  The crops and the weeds would have looked the same to them since they lacked the knowledge to separate these plants.  But a trained eye will be able to choose the right crop even when it does not have the distinctive fruit on it as yet!

All men and women are not the same in character. Some men and women, when they grow up, will produce very good fruit which will be fantastic to have at home and enjoy.  Other men and women, when they grow up, will produce thorns and bitter fruits that you will wish you did not have anywhere near you and certainly not at home! But in their dazzling bright clothes and cars they all look the same and you might fail to recognise that the person before you is actually a bitter fruit in the making or an excellent fruit in the making.  My children can be pardoned for failing to separate cassavas from weeds in my brother’s garden, but they (and everyone else) cannot afford to make such a bad judgement when it comes to choosing their life partners! It will be too costly. So how can we see well enough so that we can choose right?

Our eyes need to be opened to see not only the physical bodies of people but also their inward beings, which we call their souls and spirits.  How can this happen?

  1. Come to the Lord.

When you come to God through Jesus Christ, He will open your eyes. Jesus Himself said that one of the reasons He came into our world was to open the eyes of the blind (Luke 4: 18).  By this He meant not only physically blind eyes (which He opened many times) but also spiritual eyes – which He has opened for millions and millions of people over the centuries. “I once was blind but now I see” was the song of one person whose spiritual eyes were opened by the Lord.

When you pray and ask Him, He will open your eyes.

  1. God’s word also helps us to separate yams from weeds:

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?  What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?  What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols?  (2 Corinthians 6:14-16)

All men and women are NOT the same in character.  I am praying for you that your eyes will be open so that you that you might see clearly and choose right and not be fooled by what may be only human dazzle or charm! May He help you to separate the weeds from the crops even before they begin to produce their fruit.

adidas shoes trackid=sp-006 como quitar la ansiedad de manera

adidas shoes trackid=sp-006 como quitar la ansiedad de manera