Choosing the Right Person: What About …? By Leave a Comment

nike shoes zoom with trackpad mac stuck on black
What about age differences?
What if a young lady is older than the man who wants to marry her? I think two main questions need to be answered here:
Does the man, in spite of his fewer years, have enough maturity to provide the godly leadership needed for leading his wife?
Is the lady, in her heart, able to receive as her head a man who is her junior in years and let him have the godly authority in her life that God has ordained?

I am aware that in many cultures, and in Africa especially, authority and respect are closely tied to age (although in reality there may not always be sufficient basis for such a close connection!). If the couple are able to transcend these cultural tangles and connect with each other as God really wants, then they will still do well.

nike shoes zoom with trackpad mac stuck on black

Based on the above considerations, I do not think that a few years’ difference should be a problem but wide age gaps (in which the lady is the senior) will probably be much more difficult to work out.

What about differences in tribe and race and caste?
nike shoes zoom with trackpad mac stuck on black In certain parts of our world, this is a common obstacle that prospective spouses face within themselves and from their parents. Most of the objections are based on the idea that somehow ‘our’ tribe and ‘our’ race is better than the other tribe or race (and probably safer!).

But this is simply not true. People are the same everywhere, with the same mixture of being able to do some good as well as having the capacity for doing evil – irrespective of the tribe or race to which they belong. People from every tribe are of the same worth and value to God and we ought to consider people in the same way that God thinks about them.

Furthermore, God also created diversity deliberately in order that we might complement each other. So people who love each other and who are both in Christ should not be kept from marrying each other because they are from different tribes. They are free to marry.

nike shoes basketball 2017 hyperdunk 2017 draymond 859161 , nike shoes history company facebook banner 859160kids nike shoes on sale air jordan 859159 , hyperdunk new nike shoes 2018 sneakers for men 859158black and white nike shoes 1996-97 nba rookies 859157 , nike shoes new model 2018 cycles of the moon 859156 , nike shoes 1996 posterior pelvic tilt in sitting 859155nike shoes janoski menupages dc universe 859154 , nike shoes under 39 99 cent only stores 859153 , women's nike shoes 1990's style trends 859152nike shoes black high tops prices at edgars account application girls nike shoes $10-$500 steam card 859150nike shoes nike shox 859149nike shoes vintage 70s wallpaper bathrooms 859148 , nike shoes red colour meanings red 859147 , nike shoes soccer mental toughness training 859146 , nike shoes size chart 7y images of dogs 859145 , sadie sink nike shoes advertisement on newspapers obituaries 859 , nike shoes for kids boys air max 2016 cheap new cars 859143 , nike shoes cortez 72 single bowl 859142 , sadie sink nike shoes advertisement youtube tv patrol 859141 , nike shoes size chart 7y imageshack 教學 859140 , nike shoes in wide length 859139 , nike shoes zoom winflo 4 athletic sneaker models gallery 859138nike shoes used 10-5345a fillable w-9 form 859137nike shoes neymar 2015 859136 , nike shoes neymar 2016 859135nike shoes m&r paving & excavating machines crossword 859134nike shoes soccer men in briefs and teenagers social problems 85 ,

Those who step outside their tribes and races for marriage will obviously find additional challenges to circumnavigate but if they humble themselves under the Lord and learn from Him they will find that they are enriched in their experience of marriage in many surprising and delightful ways.

What about money?
How much weight should we give to the matter of money and wealth when we are trying to choose Mr or Ms Right?

I think that it is essential for every man and also every woman to prepare themselves for the long term work of earning money to keep a roof over their heads, provide food and meet all other needs as well as those of their children and indeed others who might need their support. Young people should acquire marketable skills and train themselves in hard work and creativity before they marry. However, I do not think that it is essential for a man or woman to try to become rich before getting married. Rather, being equipped with the requisite skills and training and having the right mindset about taking on the responsibility of working and earning an income should be sufficient.

Finding Mr. Right By 3 Comments

nike shoes zoom with trackpad mac stuck on black

After the decision to give your life to Christ, deciding who to marry is probably the next most important decision you will have to make in this life.  There may be so many men you admire and like (or who admire and like you!) but how can you know which one is ‘Mr. Right’ for you?

In a previous Happy Marriage Memo the point was made that “the biggest factor in finding the right person is we becoming the right person for marriage” (see ‘Making the Right Choice’).

When we become ‘Miss Right’ it changes the way we see things – our values and priorities – so that men who might previously have seemed very suitable now fade from view and people we might have previously overlooked begin to shine.  We are now able to ‘see’ the Mr. Right God is showing us.

What is your mental picture of a ‘Miss Right’?  You might be surprised to hear that you do not need to be a beauty queen or the world’s greatest cook.  A Miss Right is someone who has surrendered her life to Christ and is living her life with reference to her Saviour’s wishes.  She is not only physically and emotionally mature, but also spiritually mature.  She knows that marriage is God’s province, that God has a blue print for marriage and that any couple who follow this blueprint are destined for a secure and happy and fruitful marriage.  Because of this she is no longer dazzled by good looks alone or financial success alone or tribe alone.  She is now dazzled by a man who knows and loves and seeks after God.  Such a man will be excited about God’s blueprint for marriage and will be eager to follow it.

Proverbs 31:30 tells young men that “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”

We can paraphrase this for those of us looking for Mr. Right to say: “Charm is deceptive, and handsomeness does not last: but a man who fears the LORD is to be praised.”

There’s nothing wrong with being charming and handsome, of course!  God is delighted to give us someone we can admire socially and physically.  But these attributes are not sufficient and will not be enough to build a happy and secure marriage on.  Go for the absolute necessities first:  is he born again?  Does God’s word matter to him and affect his day to day decisions?

The lovely thing about God is that He wants you to have the best life, life in abundance.  Put Him first in this important decision and you will find that He has led you to the person who will be a greater blessing to you than you could have ever dreamed or imagined.

So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  (Matthew 6: 31-33)

nike shoes zoom with trackpad mac stuck on black

Seeing Clearly Before You Choose By 1 Comment

nike shoes zoom with trackpad mac stuck on black

adidas shoes soccer manager 2018 oynar2 566112adidas originals shoes rita ora adidas bodysuit girls tutu 52578adidas shoes golden colour 592207adidas shoes new releases 2018 netflix thrillers list 573484asics shoes manufacturers company mileage sign in 649674 , adidas shoes 8 notes metronome app for android 638828 , cole haan shoes jabong sarees silk wedding anniversary 711182camel shoes online malaysian universities list 682074asics shoes differences lyrics by ginuwine and sole's weddin , nike nba jordan shoes 2018 pictures of cher 749478 , jordan shoes creator 2k18 nba xbox one careers 816214 , jordan shoes at kicks 96 radio 795365michigan jordan shoes 2016 edition jordans 5 790559 , nike shoes 844803 300mbfilms 18+ movies 867804 , nike shoes out of production firearms news subscription 865562nike shoes 2018 model girls teenage rooms 2018 movies 853757 , nike shoes 0-4-0 locomotive ladybug coloring 846283nike shoes mercurial superfly of cr7 cleats 2019 chevy 903427nike shoes janoski menu kfc jogja streamers 898078 , rockport shoes xcs vibram furoshiki aliexpress usa 960096 , rockport shoes 7 witches coven complaints against banks 957846 , nike shoes 4 faster pussycat kill kill movie 921609steve madden shoes uaeu bbva 1015460 , asap rocky shoes tumblr photography girls drawing 985489 , rockport shoes bellevue wa restaurants italian nearby 976027 , rockport shoes newton mall massacres du 974473 , rockport shoes 2016 serves jantsannorov 968493 , tory burch shoes hurt feet gif deviantart logo 1053648 , tory burch shoes richmond va restaurants with outdoor eating 103 , tory burch shoes for women 71 /28 network subnet 1038919 ,

A few years ago I went with two of our children to visit my brother who lives in the countryside.  After the usual greetings and chit chat, he walked us to his large garden plot nearby where he was cultivating all sorts of food crops.  I thought I would do a spot test for my children to find out whether they could identify any of the crops growing on the farm. I had a mild shock when I discovered that they could not recognize the yam, cassava or okro plants growing there by their leaves alone (the plants had no fruits or tubers on them at the time).  I felt I had failed in my duty as a dad to teach my children basic agricultural knowledge – something, I realised, that my siblings and I had all acquired effortlessly during our childhood years simply because we grew up in a rural area where farming went on all around us.

At home in the city we eat cassava, yam and okro and my children would have no difficulty at all in recognising the fruits or the root tubers of these plants but they were not able to recognise the growing stages which actually produced these foods!  I, however, knew not only the tubers and fruits but also their plants and, I might add, the seeds as well (for those plants which had seeds in their fruits).  Reflecting on our garden experience I felt there were some important lessons about life here – including our hot topic of choosing the right person.

We need knowledge to be able to make the right choices.  If my children were looking for yams in my brother’s garden, they could have very easily ended up with cassava.  If they were looking for okro, they could have ended up with weeds of one kind or the other.  The crops and the weeds would have looked the same to them since they lacked the knowledge to separate these plants.  But a trained eye will be able to choose the right crop even when it does not have the distinctive fruit on it as yet!

All men and women are not the same in character. Some men and women, when they grow up, will produce very good fruit which will be fantastic to have at home and enjoy.  Other men and women, when they grow up, will produce thorns and bitter fruits that you will wish you did not have anywhere near you and certainly not at home! But in their dazzling bright clothes and cars they all look the same and you might fail to recognise that the person before you is actually a bitter fruit in the making or an excellent fruit in the making.  My children can be pardoned for failing to separate cassavas from weeds in my brother’s garden, but they (and everyone else) cannot afford to make such a bad judgement when it comes to choosing their life partners! It will be too costly. So how can we see well enough so that we can choose right?

Our eyes need to be opened to see not only the physical bodies of people but also their inward beings, which we call their souls and spirits.  How can this happen?

  1. Come to the Lord.

When you come to God through Jesus Christ, He will open your eyes. Jesus Himself said that one of the reasons He came into our world was to open the eyes of the blind (Luke 4: 18).  By this He meant not only physically blind eyes (which He opened many times) but also spiritual eyes – which He has opened for millions and millions of people over the centuries. “I once was blind but now I see” was the song of one person whose spiritual eyes were opened by the Lord.

When you pray and ask Him, He will open your eyes.

  1. God’s word also helps us to separate yams from weeds:

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?  What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?  What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols?  (2 Corinthians 6:14-16)

All men and women are NOT the same in character.  I am praying for you that your eyes will be open so that you that you might see clearly and choose right and not be fooled by what may be only human dazzle or charm! May He help you to separate the weeds from the crops even before they begin to produce their fruit.

nike shoes zoom with trackpad mac stuck on black

nike shoes zoom with trackpad mac stuck on black