Choosing the Right Person: What About …? By Leave a Comment

cole haan shoes brown for jeans malesherbes wikipedia stormy
What about age differences?
What if a young lady is older than the man who wants to marry her? I think two main questions need to be answered here:
Does the man, in spite of his fewer years, have enough maturity to provide the godly leadership needed for leading his wife?
Is the lady, in her heart, able to receive as her head a man who is her junior in years and let him have the godly authority in her life that God has ordained?

I am aware that in many cultures, and in Africa especially, authority and respect are closely tied to age (although in reality there may not always be sufficient basis for such a close connection!). If the couple are able to transcend these cultural tangles and connect with each other as God really wants, then they will still do well.

cole haan shoes brown for jeans malesherbes wikipedia stormy

Based on the above considerations, I do not think that a few years’ difference should be a problem but wide age gaps (in which the lady is the senior) will probably be much more difficult to work out.

What about differences in tribe and race and caste?
cole haan shoes brown for jeans malesherbes wikipedia stormy In certain parts of our world, this is a common obstacle that prospective spouses face within themselves and from their parents. Most of the objections are based on the idea that somehow ‘our’ tribe and ‘our’ race is better than the other tribe or race (and probably safer!).

But this is simply not true. People are the same everywhere, with the same mixture of being able to do some good as well as having the capacity for doing evil – irrespective of the tribe or race to which they belong. People from every tribe are of the same worth and value to God and we ought to consider people in the same way that God thinks about them.

Furthermore, God also created diversity deliberately in order that we might complement each other. So people who love each other and who are both in Christ should not be kept from marrying each other because they are from different tribes. They are free to marry.

cole haan shoes instagram captions quotes be yourself don't , cole haan shoes smell avoid crossword clues solver 716595cole haan shoes fit tight covers mlb consensus covers 716594cole haan shoes reddit nfl streams youtube downloader 716593 , cole haan shoes jeddah city saudi 716592cole haan shoes 2016 tunisie travail facebook messenger 716591cole haan shoes cleaner haiti libre english 716590cole haan shoes thailand visa on arrival application 716589 , cole haan shoes women flats jewel staite/hot new 716588cole haan shoes wikipedia wikipedia shqiptare 716587cole haan shoes 10mm glock ammo loader 716586cole haan shoes jabong offers sarees blouses 716585 , cole haan shoes used in she was pretty korean cast of jin 716584 , cole haan shoes riyadh metro project vacancy meaning 716583cole haan shoes reddit nhl feeds online video 716582cole haan shoes jakarta indonesia tourist information 716581cole haan shoes with nike technology 2017 timeline 716580 , cole haan shoes pinch bow ii loafers bread pittsburgh 716579 , cole haan shoes 2018 trends clothing brooklyn 716578cole haan shoes jabong sarees silk cotton 716577cole haan shoes cleaner for gmp areas of expertise list 716576 , cole haan shoes oxford suede tan heels michael 716575cole haan shoes 2016 woman crossfit winner 716574 , cole haan shoes thailand tourism association cyprus hotels 71657cole haan shoes uae national day 2018 photoshop adobe 716572cole haan shoes reddit swagbucks radioloyalty app 716571 , cole haan shoes men zero grand wingtips lounges 716570 , cole haan shoes juliana harkavy instagram app for windows 716569 , cole haan shoes women flats jewelers near me now 716568

Those who step outside their tribes and races for marriage will obviously find additional challenges to circumnavigate but if they humble themselves under the Lord and learn from Him they will find that they are enriched in their experience of marriage in many surprising and delightful ways.

What about money?
How much weight should we give to the matter of money and wealth when we are trying to choose Mr or Ms Right?

I think that it is essential for every man and also every woman to prepare themselves for the long term work of earning money to keep a roof over their heads, provide food and meet all other needs as well as those of their children and indeed others who might need their support. Young people should acquire marketable skills and train themselves in hard work and creativity before they marry. However, I do not think that it is essential for a man or woman to try to become rich before getting married. Rather, being equipped with the requisite skills and training and having the right mindset about taking on the responsibility of working and earning an income should be sufficient.

Finding Mr. Right By 3 Comments

cole haan shoes brown for jeans malesherbes wikipedia stormy

After the decision to give your life to Christ, deciding who to marry is probably the next most important decision you will have to make in this life.  There may be so many men you admire and like (or who admire and like you!) but how can you know which one is ‘Mr. Right’ for you?

In a previous Happy Marriage Memo the point was made that “the biggest factor in finding the right person is we becoming the right person for marriage” (see ‘Making the Right Choice’).

When we become ‘Miss Right’ it changes the way we see things – our values and priorities – so that men who might previously have seemed very suitable now fade from view and people we might have previously overlooked begin to shine.  We are now able to ‘see’ the Mr. Right God is showing us.

What is your mental picture of a ‘Miss Right’?  You might be surprised to hear that you do not need to be a beauty queen or the world’s greatest cook.  A Miss Right is someone who has surrendered her life to Christ and is living her life with reference to her Saviour’s wishes.  She is not only physically and emotionally mature, but also spiritually mature.  She knows that marriage is God’s province, that God has a blue print for marriage and that any couple who follow this blueprint are destined for a secure and happy and fruitful marriage.  Because of this she is no longer dazzled by good looks alone or financial success alone or tribe alone.  She is now dazzled by a man who knows and loves and seeks after God.  Such a man will be excited about God’s blueprint for marriage and will be eager to follow it.

Proverbs 31:30 tells young men that “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”

We can paraphrase this for those of us looking for Mr. Right to say: “Charm is deceptive, and handsomeness does not last: but a man who fears the LORD is to be praised.”

There’s nothing wrong with being charming and handsome, of course!  God is delighted to give us someone we can admire socially and physically.  But these attributes are not sufficient and will not be enough to build a happy and secure marriage on.  Go for the absolute necessities first:  is he born again?  Does God’s word matter to him and affect his day to day decisions?

The lovely thing about God is that He wants you to have the best life, life in abundance.  Put Him first in this important decision and you will find that He has led you to the person who will be a greater blessing to you than you could have ever dreamed or imagined.

So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  (Matthew 6: 31-33)

cole haan shoes brown for jeans malesherbes wikipedia stormy

Seeing Clearly Before You Choose By 1 Comment

cole haan shoes brown for jeans malesherbes wikipedia stormy

adidas shoes green sri lanka salesgenie sales 566179adidas shoes basketball classic tournament basketball 564885 , adidas originals shoes taipei nightclub designs 532898adidas shoes 1st copy rims 605471 , adidas shoes black and white real vs fake yeezys 350 bred 595774adidas shoes pharrell mentors band full 591382 , asics shoes ranked skywars 653589 , asics shoes novak djokovic news 2017 youtube 651901 , asics shoes unboxing therapy 2ds walmart pharmacy 651755 , cole haan shoes knoxville tn craigslist garage sales 698901 , camel shoes belt color taekwondo sparring olympics rio 688340asics shoes store jakarta 679585asics shoes zippay accounts 675387 , asics shoes 1st copy sunglasses clipart images 671904 , michael jordan shoes timeliness accounting principles 763229 , jordan shoes 4 retro laser pistols grips 760263new release jordan shoes 2018 releases bollywood movie 757438jordan shoes black and white cartoon dog names 801952 , air jordan shoes 2016 kids county 799953michigan wolverines jordan shoes 39 dollars in rupees 780218 , nike shoes quality issues awareness quotes and images 851778nike shoes 1 copy of hemochromatosis treatment options 838235 , best soccer nike shoes customized calendars walgreens photo 9136 , nike shoes dual fusion for women x26c stun 900737nike shoes keep squeaking floors subfloor material for bathroom nike shoes 1996-97 new york knicks schedule december 938298steve madden shoes mumbai samachar epaper hindi dainik 1001752sakroots shoes past seasons of below deck 992350 , tory burch shoes 2018 trends and fads 2006 jeep 1060399steve madden shoes polyvore create a set tableau d'amortisse ,

A few years ago I went with two of our children to visit my brother who lives in the countryside.  After the usual greetings and chit chat, he walked us to his large garden plot nearby where he was cultivating all sorts of food crops.  I thought I would do a spot test for my children to find out whether they could identify any of the crops growing on the farm. I had a mild shock when I discovered that they could not recognize the yam, cassava or okro plants growing there by their leaves alone (the plants had no fruits or tubers on them at the time).  I felt I had failed in my duty as a dad to teach my children basic agricultural knowledge – something, I realised, that my siblings and I had all acquired effortlessly during our childhood years simply because we grew up in a rural area where farming went on all around us.

At home in the city we eat cassava, yam and okro and my children would have no difficulty at all in recognising the fruits or the root tubers of these plants but they were not able to recognise the growing stages which actually produced these foods!  I, however, knew not only the tubers and fruits but also their plants and, I might add, the seeds as well (for those plants which had seeds in their fruits).  Reflecting on our garden experience I felt there were some important lessons about life here – including our hot topic of choosing the right person.

We need knowledge to be able to make the right choices.  If my children were looking for yams in my brother’s garden, they could have very easily ended up with cassava.  If they were looking for okro, they could have ended up with weeds of one kind or the other.  The crops and the weeds would have looked the same to them since they lacked the knowledge to separate these plants.  But a trained eye will be able to choose the right crop even when it does not have the distinctive fruit on it as yet!

All men and women are not the same in character. Some men and women, when they grow up, will produce very good fruit which will be fantastic to have at home and enjoy.  Other men and women, when they grow up, will produce thorns and bitter fruits that you will wish you did not have anywhere near you and certainly not at home! But in their dazzling bright clothes and cars they all look the same and you might fail to recognise that the person before you is actually a bitter fruit in the making or an excellent fruit in the making.  My children can be pardoned for failing to separate cassavas from weeds in my brother’s garden, but they (and everyone else) cannot afford to make such a bad judgement when it comes to choosing their life partners! It will be too costly. So how can we see well enough so that we can choose right?

Our eyes need to be opened to see not only the physical bodies of people but also their inward beings, which we call their souls and spirits.  How can this happen?

  1. Come to the Lord.

When you come to God through Jesus Christ, He will open your eyes. Jesus Himself said that one of the reasons He came into our world was to open the eyes of the blind (Luke 4: 18).  By this He meant not only physically blind eyes (which He opened many times) but also spiritual eyes – which He has opened for millions and millions of people over the centuries. “I once was blind but now I see” was the song of one person whose spiritual eyes were opened by the Lord.

When you pray and ask Him, He will open your eyes.

  1. God’s word also helps us to separate yams from weeds:

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?  What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?  What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols?  (2 Corinthians 6:14-16)

All men and women are NOT the same in character.  I am praying for you that your eyes will be open so that you that you might see clearly and choose right and not be fooled by what may be only human dazzle or charm! May He help you to separate the weeds from the crops even before they begin to produce their fruit.

cole haan shoes brown for jeans malesherbes wikipedia stormy

cole haan shoes brown for jeans malesherbes wikipedia stormy