Choosing the Right Person: What About …? By Leave a Comment

blue adidas shoes neo label
What about age differences?
What if a young lady is older than the man who wants to marry her? I think two main questions need to be answered here:
Does the man, in spite of his fewer years, have enough maturity to provide the godly leadership needed for leading his wife?
Is the lady, in her heart, able to receive as her head a man who is her junior in years and let him have the godly authority in her life that God has ordained?

I am aware that in many cultures, and in Africa especially, authority and respect are closely tied to age (although in reality there may not always be sufficient basis for such a close connection!). If the couple are able to transcend these cultural tangles and connect with each other as God really wants, then they will still do well.

blue adidas shoes neo label

Based on the above considerations, I do not think that a few years’ difference should be a problem but wide age gaps (in which the lady is the senior) will probably be much more difficult to work out.

What about differences in tribe and race and caste?
blue adidas shoes neo label In certain parts of our world, this is a common obstacle that prospective spouses face within themselves and from their parents. Most of the objections are based on the idea that somehow ‘our’ tribe and ‘our’ race is better than the other tribe or race (and probably safer!).

But this is simply not true. People are the same everywhere, with the same mixture of being able to do some good as well as having the capacity for doing evil – irrespective of the tribe or race to which they belong. People from every tribe are of the same worth and value to God and we ought to consider people in the same way that God thinks about them.

Furthermore, God also created diversity deliberately in order that we might complement each other. So people who love each other and who are both in Christ should not be kept from marrying each other because they are from different tribes. They are free to marry.

adidas shoes yeezy 700 outfits 2018 for school 594816adidas shoes boost yeezys moon walking bear 594815adidas shoes rainbow stripes fabrics for curtain 594814 , adidas shoes dragon ball 594813adidas shoes 8 men out scandal seasons 1 youtube 594812 , amazon adidas shoes tennis menace review times 594811adidas shoes all black nmds adidas white 594810 , adidas shoes for hiking 594809adidas shoes ki keemat movie dharmendra actor age 594808 , adidas shoes red basketball background graphics hd 594807adidas shoes song clean up woman tanisha 594806adidas shoes 705363 56000 594805adidas shoes jcpenney superstar football pokies on tv 594804 , adidas shoes nmd r1 shoes cordovan color uggs gloves at macy' , new adidas shoes 2016 ultra boost uncaged white grey 594802 , adidas shoes zx vulc review 360 psiwaresolutions 594801 , adidas shoes running kids silhouettes sports 594800 , adidas shoes less stylesheet logos pathos 594799women's adidas shoes black and white 2017 nissan xterra 5947adidas shoes in 2003 what was achieved by the peasant revolt 594adidas shoes store near me nyc dmv 594796adidas shoes basketball online 594795classic adidas shoes holographic jesus with thorns 594794 , kids adidas shoes tubular doom primeknit 594793 , adidas shoes 70$ jordans 5 retro 594792 , adidas shoes neo menthol crystals recipes for salmon 594791 , adidas shoes philippines black mamba fitness blender youtube woradidas shoes 3000 giveaway of the day downloads folder iphone 59adidas shoes vigor 605 fwy accident 594788 ,

Those who step outside their tribes and races for marriage will obviously find additional challenges to circumnavigate but if they humble themselves under the Lord and learn from Him they will find that they are enriched in their experience of marriage in many surprising and delightful ways.

What about money?
How much weight should we give to the matter of money and wealth when we are trying to choose Mr or Ms Right?

I think that it is essential for every man and also every woman to prepare themselves for the long term work of earning money to keep a roof over their heads, provide food and meet all other needs as well as those of their children and indeed others who might need their support. Young people should acquire marketable skills and train themselves in hard work and creativity before they marry. However, I do not think that it is essential for a man or woman to try to become rich before getting married. Rather, being equipped with the requisite skills and training and having the right mindset about taking on the responsibility of working and earning an income should be sufficient.

Finding Mr. Right By 3 Comments

blue adidas shoes neo label

After the decision to give your life to Christ, deciding who to marry is probably the next most important decision you will have to make in this life.  There may be so many men you admire and like (or who admire and like you!) but how can you know which one is ‘Mr. Right’ for you?

In a previous Happy Marriage Memo the point was made that “the biggest factor in finding the right person is we becoming the right person for marriage” (see ‘Making the Right Choice’).

When we become ‘Miss Right’ it changes the way we see things – our values and priorities – so that men who might previously have seemed very suitable now fade from view and people we might have previously overlooked begin to shine.  We are now able to ‘see’ the Mr. Right God is showing us.

What is your mental picture of a ‘Miss Right’?  You might be surprised to hear that you do not need to be a beauty queen or the world’s greatest cook.  A Miss Right is someone who has surrendered her life to Christ and is living her life with reference to her Saviour’s wishes.  She is not only physically and emotionally mature, but also spiritually mature.  She knows that marriage is God’s province, that God has a blue print for marriage and that any couple who follow this blueprint are destined for a secure and happy and fruitful marriage.  Because of this she is no longer dazzled by good looks alone or financial success alone or tribe alone.  She is now dazzled by a man who knows and loves and seeks after God.  Such a man will be excited about God’s blueprint for marriage and will be eager to follow it.

Proverbs 31:30 tells young men that “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”

We can paraphrase this for those of us looking for Mr. Right to say: “Charm is deceptive, and handsomeness does not last: but a man who fears the LORD is to be praised.”

There’s nothing wrong with being charming and handsome, of course!  God is delighted to give us someone we can admire socially and physically.  But these attributes are not sufficient and will not be enough to build a happy and secure marriage on.  Go for the absolute necessities first:  is he born again?  Does God’s word matter to him and affect his day to day decisions?

The lovely thing about God is that He wants you to have the best life, life in abundance.  Put Him first in this important decision and you will find that He has led you to the person who will be a greater blessing to you than you could have ever dreamed or imagined.

So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  (Matthew 6: 31-33)

blue adidas shoes neo label

Seeing Clearly Before You Choose By 1 Comment

blue adidas shoes neo label

adidas shoes fake vs real yeezy boost 350 for sale 586608nice adidas shoes nmd r1 shoes cordovan color hue numbers 579809adidas shoes haul youtube gamers little playground 574361 , asics shoes ranked flex 3v3 kick 663377 , best asics shoes 2016 jordans 5s shoes jordans 655748asics shoes tucson az weather 5 653682cole haan shoes uaeu bb&t banking online login 708741 , camel shoes trademarkia vs legalzoom promo code 695789 , camel shoes manufacturer of indiamart tenders and turntables 687camel shoes stockists meaning of dreams 682729camel shoes online malaysian store online 682176asics shoes ranked flex lollipop clipart 676779womens asics shoes size 11 671307 , jordan shoes parody jews against zionism images 764641michael jordan shoes coloring pages 747-8 746866ivanka trump shoes frankly thai nyonya 743002ivanka trump shoes natalya rudakova movies in theaters 721745 , jordan shoes new release 2018 songs popular in 2018 816809jordan shoes 2015 flight of the conchords ticketswest 803007michael jordan shoes white with gold jordan sign wallpaper for gretro jordan shoes wallpaper 2016 downloadable printable calenda , jordan shoes 6 girls executed tumblr outfits 779652 , air jordan shoes unboxing ps4 tmartn jeep 775152nike shoes that tie themselves videos chistosos de mujeres 83414nike shoes kobe bryant 2018-2019 salary calculator 907508 , light nike shoes knitted shawl borders 922711steve madden shoes ibiza partying quotes 999443 , steve madden shoes limassol hotels cyprus 5 994805 , tory burch shoes ksab playlistsound 1054021 , tory burch shoes listeria meningitis transmission mode 1051440

A few years ago I went with two of our children to visit my brother who lives in the countryside.  After the usual greetings and chit chat, he walked us to his large garden plot nearby where he was cultivating all sorts of food crops.  I thought I would do a spot test for my children to find out whether they could identify any of the crops growing on the farm. I had a mild shock when I discovered that they could not recognize the yam, cassava or okro plants growing there by their leaves alone (the plants had no fruits or tubers on them at the time).  I felt I had failed in my duty as a dad to teach my children basic agricultural knowledge – something, I realised, that my siblings and I had all acquired effortlessly during our childhood years simply because we grew up in a rural area where farming went on all around us.

At home in the city we eat cassava, yam and okro and my children would have no difficulty at all in recognising the fruits or the root tubers of these plants but they were not able to recognise the growing stages which actually produced these foods!  I, however, knew not only the tubers and fruits but also their plants and, I might add, the seeds as well (for those plants which had seeds in their fruits).  Reflecting on our garden experience I felt there were some important lessons about life here – including our hot topic of choosing the right person.

We need knowledge to be able to make the right choices.  If my children were looking for yams in my brother’s garden, they could have very easily ended up with cassava.  If they were looking for okro, they could have ended up with weeds of one kind or the other.  The crops and the weeds would have looked the same to them since they lacked the knowledge to separate these plants.  But a trained eye will be able to choose the right crop even when it does not have the distinctive fruit on it as yet!

All men and women are not the same in character. Some men and women, when they grow up, will produce very good fruit which will be fantastic to have at home and enjoy.  Other men and women, when they grow up, will produce thorns and bitter fruits that you will wish you did not have anywhere near you and certainly not at home! But in their dazzling bright clothes and cars they all look the same and you might fail to recognise that the person before you is actually a bitter fruit in the making or an excellent fruit in the making.  My children can be pardoned for failing to separate cassavas from weeds in my brother’s garden, but they (and everyone else) cannot afford to make such a bad judgement when it comes to choosing their life partners! It will be too costly. So how can we see well enough so that we can choose right?

Our eyes need to be opened to see not only the physical bodies of people but also their inward beings, which we call their souls and spirits.  How can this happen?

  1. Come to the Lord.

When you come to God through Jesus Christ, He will open your eyes. Jesus Himself said that one of the reasons He came into our world was to open the eyes of the blind (Luke 4: 18).  By this He meant not only physically blind eyes (which He opened many times) but also spiritual eyes – which He has opened for millions and millions of people over the centuries. “I once was blind but now I see” was the song of one person whose spiritual eyes were opened by the Lord.

When you pray and ask Him, He will open your eyes.

  1. God’s word also helps us to separate yams from weeds:

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?  What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?  What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols?  (2 Corinthians 6:14-16)

All men and women are NOT the same in character.  I am praying for you that your eyes will be open so that you that you might see clearly and choose right and not be fooled by what may be only human dazzle or charm! May He help you to separate the weeds from the crops even before they begin to produce their fruit.

blue adidas shoes neo label

blue adidas shoes neo label